Archive for the ‘Uncategorized’ Category

  • Meditate
  • exercise
  • write
  • read
  • cut my hair

… all things I’ve been meaning to “make time” to do. Lol. That’s a joke. We don’t “make” time. We spend it, use it, waste it, cherish it, but we don’t make it. We have a limited allotment and are only allowed withdrawals. It’s easy to go into auto-pilot or damage-control, doing only what must be done to get through to another day. I’m burnt out on things that waste my time. I’m going to have to start spending time on those things that bring the most fulfillment and make the biggest difference… but there are soooo many distractions. I’m going to have to work on those. Maybe I’ll start tomorrow…

I haven’t given up on reading the Bible. It’s just not the only thing I read anymore. It’s been a lifelong challenge to study the Bible and bang my head against the pages until I see something I didn’t see before. It’s never been more challenging to wrestle with those words than it is now. I see life differently. Everything is not as black and white as we’ve been lead to believe. Life is full of nuance and mystery that refuses to be explained away easily. Science has taught us so much, but so much remains a mystery. It’s the stuff of religion, romance, imagination, and fate.

I’m reading the Gospel lesson for tomorrow curious as to what approach a preacher friend would take on it but also scratching my head and wondering what, if anything, this means to me. Go ahead and read it if you like, Mark 5:21-43. I’ll wait…

So if you’d like to think that Jesus was just a prophet, a revolutionary figure, a reformer, or even a charlatan, here comes these passages that declare without pretense that he was more than what you take him for. We can debate whether these things happened literally or were the embellishments of people writing to make a theological statement, but we would miss the point of what these passages are supposed to teach us about who Jesus was and who we are.

There are plenty of people making money selling the latest greatest whatever in religion. Miracle handkerchiefs, annointed oil, holy water, seeds of faith, multi-millon dollar sanctuaries, fantastic programs, mega-star personalities, and on and on. In this passage both Jairus and the woman believed that touching Jesus was enough to heal. Touch is a powerful human experience in and of itself without any special magic.

In college I learned what to do and what not to do when it comes to caring for the ill and dying. In what was supposed to be a practical how-to of pastoral care, the only thing I remember from that class was the professor said when making pastoral visits to the sick 1) never sit on the bed, 2) read a scripture, 3) have prayer, and 4) never stay more than a few minutes. Seriously. While I was job shadowing a hospice chaplain the next semester, I learned that he broke every rule. He told me how important it was to touch people, especially the dying. So many terminally ill and shut ins, go days and weeks without anyone touching them in a meaningful and compassionate way. I watched him sit on the bedside and hold hands, rub shoulders, kiss foreheads, even cry and pray with people, and we almost always stayed until the time was right to leave.

There was nothing magical, super spiritual, or clinically effective about what he did, but it made such a difference in those lives. I never saw one of them jump out of bed miraculously healed either. They all died. Everyone of them, but I like to think their spirits were healed, which was so much more effective than a ceremonial pastoral blessing.

Before we write sermons and build churches around the “touch of Jesus,” he said in the passage that it wasn’t touching him that made them whole. Lots of people were touching him and pushing him around, but none of them were miraculously healed. He told the woman who touched him that it was her faith that made her whole. When Jairus found out his daughter had died, Jesus told him, “Don’t be afraid; only believe.”

I don’t know how to adequately describe faith. It’s not about “believing” the right things. It’s about hope and trust in what can be. I readily admit that there are people in my life who have much more faith than I do. I’m a skeptic by default. I reason everything out and try to figure things out for myself, but there are people I know who just hope against hope for no other reason than it’s all they have. I need people like that around me, because all too often we encounter situations and crises that are beyond our ability to cope with or fix. We have to make a choice. Either we resign ourselves to be victims of circumstance, lie down, and take it, or we declare with every ounce of our being that we refuse to accept reality as it’s presented to us. We hold onto faith.

The law of odds says that more times than not miracles are rare. If they happened routinely, they wouldn’t be considered miraculous. It’s the exception for a devestating illness to suddenly disappear… for young girls on death’s door to get up and walk. Even for those who experience miraculous turns of fate, they too eventually died. All of them. It doesn’t mean that they didn’t have faith.

I’ve never been so angry as to visit terminally ill people who were visited by a faith healer or a preacher selling indulgences. It makes my blood boil to think of the people who’ve been told, “if you only had faith, God would heal you.” I’ve buried plenty of men and women of great faith. Life happens and so does death. No snake oil salesmen can change that.

I take away from these encounters with Jesus that there is something in us that we have the abilitiy to tap into that allows us to transcend our circumstances. There is divinity in us. It’s in our cosmic DNA. There are traces of timelessness in us that defies death, disease, and adversity. I do believe that people can discover faith that enables them to tap into the incredible potential of our bodies to heal themselves, but more importantly they can realize that they are more than flesh and blood and bones. They are spirit, and death and disease can never kill them.

50.

People who look
for the secret of long life
wind up dead.

Their bodies are the focus of their lives
and the source of their death,
because they think a healthy body
is all there is to life.

Lao Tzu used to say
a man who truly understood life
could walk through the jungle
without fear
or across a battlefield
without armor, totally unarmed.
Wild animals and weapons couldn’t kill him.

I know, I know:
what the hell does that mean?
“Well, he couldn’t be killed,”
Lao Tzu said,
“because his body
wasn’t where he kept his death.”

~ Tao Te Ching, adapted by Ron Hogan

At this moment Iran is erupting in waves of violence from protestors who support and oppose the declared victory of Ahmadinejad in this week’s Presidential election. Students at Tehran University are pleading with U.S. President Obama not to accept the election results and to stand with them.

Students rescue injured riot police officer

Students rescue injured riot police officer

I thought this photo was compelling. Students are rescuing an injured riot police officer who was attacked by protestors. This is the kind of action that will start a real revolution. Violence won’t. From Ghandi to Martin Luther King, Jr. to Jesus non-violent resistance and courageous acts of selfless love have turned the tides of history.

While Iran and the larger Middle East does not want to be Western nor should they, they do want to be free. There have long been stories about the changes among younger Iranians and the break with the powers that be. I’ve long thought that within my lifetime a revolution would ensue. Whether or not that revolution is crushed or turns the hearts and minds of all Iranians will depend on whether more students choose to emulate this act of selflessness or swing bats and burn buildings. Choose peace. Choose love. Start a fire that consumes hatred and oppression, and it will never burn out.

Every so often in life I think it’s a good time to hit the delete key. Do a  hard reset and just start over. I think it’s about time again. I don’t know if you call it turning a page, starting a new chapter, closing the door, or maybe even repentance.

I think it’s about realizing that you’ve learned something, you’ve moved past things, or you’ve changed the way you look at the world. Whenever you have a monumental shift in your thinking or your worldview, every other smaller thing changes shape when seen through a new lens. That’s where I’m at right now. Seeing things for the first time all over again.

I think a lot about big things, really BIG things. I just don’t let go of ideas. I wrestle with them, argue with them… I beat the crap out of them until they make sense to me and fit into the larger scheme of things. Whenever I learn something that jars with what I think I know, all of my preconceived notions are subject to be tossed out the window. I don’t dig in covering my eyes and ears stomping my feet. I am entirely convinced that everything I think I know may be wrong.

At present I’ve been rethinking a lot. I haven’t been writing much. I have been busy, but really I just haven’t known what to say. I’m far from having things hammered out, but I see something in the distance starting to take shape. The most exciting thing of all is that I know I’m not the only one who sees it. I’d like to take some time to write a little about where I’m at and what I’m wrestling with. Maybe you are too.

I’m so glad that it’s finally Spring again. Last year I replanted all my flowerbeds with mostly transplants from my mom’s house. My goal is to have resilient plants that look nice, low maintenance, and come back every year. Since it took last year for them to get established and find out if they could survive the move, I was very unsure about how many would come back this year. The jury is still out on several of them, but there’s good news for most!

Wild Iris in bloom again

Wild Iris in bloom again

Someone told my mom that if you transplant Wild Iris they won’t bloom for seven years. Her’s bloomed the next year, and so did mine! They grow much taller and thicker on the morning sun side of the house. Those that I planted in the hottest part of my yard are half as tall but pretty nonetheless.

Dianthus' are back fuller than ever

Dianthus' are back fuller than ever

I love Dianthus’. They’re pretty and so easy to take care of. Just don’t ever fertilize them! They will die. Mine survived the winter in every bed I planted them in. They shrunk up to little nubs during the winter, but they’ve come back thick and beautiful. They look great for low plants in the front of the beds and look great next to all the tulips I planted everywhere for my wife.

The Hosta's are bursting thru the ground

The Hosta's are bursting thru the ground

Last year I planted about six Hosta’s in the shadier beds that I have. They’re so pretty and come in so many different varieties. They did so great all year but completely died in the winter. I was wondering if they’d come back in the Spring, and I was so surprised this morning to find the first one popping through the ground!  They like shade and a little water but are as self-sufficient as my cat.

Little herb garden taking off

Little herb garden taking off

I’ve never had any luck planting an herb garden from seeds. I’ve tried and failed twice. I found herb plants last week and already they’ve doubled in size. I think they might make it. I’ve got them in a big pot in a semi-sunny area of my yard. There’s a Mandeville in the middle of those by the way. The jury is still out whether it’ll come back up. If it doesn’t I’m going to replant Jasmine instead. If the herbs do well and keep getting bigger, I’ll transplant them each to their own pot. In case you’re wondering it’s Thyme, Sweet Basil, and Oregano. Spaghetti anyone?